Yesterday I read, among all the other great blogs, Sweet Leigh Mama’s. In it she was discussing a current medical situation she’s going through with her young son. In that discussion, she talked about how as a Mom you are many things to many people and you don’t always have time for yourself (emotionally speaking). Here’s an excerpt:
“I went out to dinner with my BFF mama friend the other night (no babies, no husbands, just us! LET THE ANGELS SING!!) and I realized that I am holding a lot of my emotions on this inside. I talk about it with my husband every day, but I’m keeping myself from really feeling it. I talk about scheduling the appointments, about the great doctors we will be working with, about how each day (especially over the last week) we both have noticed the increasing size of D’s forehead and the “smushed” look of the side of his head. But I don’t let myself get too deep into the emotion of it. I’m holding back on that. Because if I let myself go there now, I might not be able to get through the next few days of appointments without completely losing it. When I start to feel the pressure of tears build up, I tell myself that if I can just get through the next week of appointments and find out what the next steps will be, then I can let go. And I will… it’s inevitable.”
I felt for her as we all would but I left it at that. Then, last night, as I was putting E to sleep I started crying. I really hadn’t been upset or had any real emotional swings one way or the other so I was a little surprised when it started. Then I just went with it and that’s when it HIT ME. The emotion of everything going on with the house. I don’t want to even try to compare it to what Sweet Leigh is going through but for us right now, this is a big event. Life changing and I’ve been orchestrating it but not dealing with it. I’ve been packing every night for the past three weeks, little by little. I’ve been talking to agents, lenders, appraisers, and inspectors. I’ve called every utility company known to man. I’ve done it all except reflect.
This house, which I bought by myself over 5 years ago, has gone from brick and mortar to part of my heart. It holds soo many memories that mean so much to me. It’s where I started my family and until last night I just treated it like a house. Then, as E and I sat in the glider in his room, I realized that I needed to move out mentally too. I needed to pack all those memories up and store them away. They aren’t gone when we leave. I did that last night. I sat there for an extended period of time just thinking, crying and realizing that this place will always be in my heart.
Here’s today’s lesson…
- If you’re a new mom or about to be a new mom – Don’t let the chaos of the moment consume you. Roll with it. If you don’t you won’t be able to enjoy the little memories that are hiding there. Take a breath and just be for a minute. I promise you won’t be disappointed in the result.
- If you’re a seasoned veteran, you’ve probably been told this a lot and just like the rest of us, tossed it aside for the sake of efficiency BUT here I am telling you again. STOP! Stop what you’re doing, look around and appreciate everything that is your life. You’ve worked hard to make it what it is and it’s meant to be enjoyed and cherished.
No matter what, enjoy your day!