I know I’ve got a great pictures to share with you from E’s party but before that, I have to post about the other big thing that happened.
First off, just like anyone, I wanted E’s party to be perfect so it became the focus of my efforts the past week which meant that everything else took a backseat including running and exercise even though I was mentally committed to running in the Rock n Roll Marathon on Sunday.
I worked and worked on the party and luckily on Saturday, it showed. I was so proud to welcome my friends and family and enjoyed watching them enjoy themselves. E was a great host, walking around greeting everyone. I promise pictures in the next post.
What I didn’t count on was the sheer exhaustion I felt on Saturday night after everyone left. I really couldn’t believe it. I felt the same way I did after my wedding just spent in a great way. But still I felt like running the next morning was an option. Then it happened. I set my alarm and went to bed. The next morning I woke up, looked at my phone and realized I had slept right through it. I should’ve been halfway through the race by the time I woke up.
My first emotion was frustration. I had let myself down. Why didn’t I hear the alarm? Why didn’t I get up? I could’ve muscled through the race but I didn’t. Instead I slept. Frustration led to some thoughts that I’m not sure I want to admit to even thinking because it forces me to think about the possibility that my limits might be something different than what I thought.
I, just like every other mother I know, pushes myself every day because we have to. I have a lot going on and in my mind I should be able to juggle it all. Work, grad school, fitness, family and all the other stuff that comes up. Well, it turns out I have limits and my body has let me know that if I choose to dismiss them, my body will remind me. I realize now I needed that sleep and I guess I have to accept it. I still get that sinking pit in my stomach to think I didn’t do it. My goal had been to do two halfs before E’s first birthday. Well, I didn’t make it. So it’s time to accept it, set a new goal and move on.
Ok, couldn’t resist…One picture. He looks like such a little boy. My baby is growing up.