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The Quiet Room

March 5, 2012 8 Comments

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I’ve been debating for the past week whether or not I write about what’s happened but I decided that, for me, I needed to get it off my chest. 

I lost my Dad suddenly last Sunday.  (There I said it, but I don’t feel any better yet). 

He had a history of heart disease and had been trying to make smarter, healthier choices to exercise and eat right.  He and my mom had come to St. Louis for the weekend to be with us.  They loved St. Louis.  We had spent pretty much all day with them on Saturday just running around town.  Saturday night they had watched E for us so S and I could go to a party. 

Sunday, he had gone down to the workout room to walk on the treadmill and collapsed.  Someone finally found him and called 911.  By the time I got to the hospital about an hour later, I was escorted into a “Quiet Room” where my mom and sister sat.  It was then, in that “Quiet Room” that my life changed.  My Dad had died. 

I’ll spare you the remaining details but it was a whirlwind of activities last week.  I spent the week at home with my family and am back to work this week.  (Which doesn’t seem like enough time). 

I have been trying to figure out what exactly to say here.  I could tell you about my dad.  He was an amazing father to us when we became adults. 

He was a father.  He wasn’t so good with the younger years (that’s where my Rockstar mom stepped in and was so influential).  But as we’ve grown up, he’s the one that has given us career advice and has been there to help us navigate the waters. 

He was a business man through and through and was always impressing upon us key business skills.  Even at an early age, he was trying to teach us things like Finance Terms, which at 6 doesn’t make a lot of sense but that’s what he knew. 

He was a “Pawpaw” He.loved his grand kids.  Before E was born, he was ALWAYS hounding me for a grandbaby.  When I got pregnant, almost 2 years ago to the day that he died, I wasn’t exactly happy.  I hadn’t intended to have a baby yet and spent most of the 9 months dealing with my new reality.  I’m a big believer in the theory that there’s a reason for everything.  Well, I think I can see now that I was supposed to have E for him.  Dad loved him and E loved Pawpaw.  They were inseparable. 
There are so many things that are now going to look and feel different.  So many phone calls I would’ve made to him.   
The one thing I can say is that he was always pushing us to do better.  He always wanted us to make sure that whatever we were doing we were doing it well. That saying I have on my GoSportID just became so much more than a Mantra I made up.  It’s the way I will make sure I’m living my life because that’s the way he would’ve wanted it. 
I love you Dad and will miss you so much!  I promise I will continue to “Make it worth it”

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Comments

  1. The Farleys says

    March 5, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    Katie,
    My heart and stomach literally hurts for all of you. Your post is a beautiful tribute to him and the memories that will remain with all of you, even little E. May God wrap you all in his arms of understanding and peace. Still praying for you all. -The Farleys

    Reply
  2. Suz and Allan says

    March 5, 2012 at 11:43 pm

    Continued thoughts and prayers for you Katie!

    Reply
  3. Mandy Rose says

    March 6, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    Your dad was such an amazing guy! This post was beautiful! I will continue to pray for you Katie.

    Reply
  4. Ricole Runs says

    May 17, 2012 at 3:31 am

    There are no words to say how sorry I am. Ill be thinking and praying for you and your family.

    Reply
  5. Katie McFarland says

    May 17, 2012 at 3:43 am

    Thanks! I seem to have good days and bad days. The next few will be very rough.

    Reply

Trackbacks

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    February 28, 2016 at 10:30 pm

    […] Last week was a very memorable one for me for many reasons.  The first being I was honored at work with an award I had no idea I was getting.  One so big it brought tears to my eyes which is unusual for me but it was actually pretty good timing…the other thing that happened last week was the anniversary (4th) of my dad’s passing.   (see what happened here) […]

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  2. Truth Is... | Moms Little Running Buddy says:
    November 17, 2016 at 11:06 pm

    […] been in a dark place recently.  My dad died unexpectedly a little over three years ago and I’ve never really had closure.  Even though […]

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  3. Stop Telling My Daughter She's Beautiful | Moms Little Running Buddy says:
    February 27, 2017 at 11:26 am

    […] and my social media family surrounded me with love and support.  On the 5 year anniversary of my dad’s death, I got nothing but love and I appreciated all of […]

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