I’ve read lots of blogs written by moms who are about to expand their family and there’s always at least one post about fear.
And I’ll be the first to admit I had a lot of fear when I was pregnant with E and I was very open and honest about it. It wasn’t easy.
With this pregnancy I’ve been pretty nonchalant about what’s about to happen, not just to you but to myself as well. I think part of my knew that just by taking sometime to reflect on it, I’d talk myself right into being fearful again but in a different way.
While pregnant with E, there was a fear of not being able to return to my former self…I realized real quick that I wanted it so bad, it happened.
This time around there is a similar fear, I can’t lie. The thing that makes it most “real” to me is that I no longer just have one little person to take care of but two. Two little people that are going to demand more of me than I even know exists. Part of me is so scared that I’ll give everything to them, that when it comes time for me, there won’t be anything left.
That’s the selfish fear.
The parenting fear is one that I guess we ALL seem to go through and I’m no exception, how do you learn to love the second as much as the first? I know, I know..you just do but until I feel it for myself, I just don’t get it.
Then there’s the fear that you won’t be able to spread the love around such that both kids feel equal. Again, I guess it just happens but at the moment, the logical part of my brain just doesn’t understand how that happens.
I’ve had a lot of people say to me…”I don’t know how you do it all” and I take it as a compliment because everything I do in my life, I’m doing for a reason but the fact is it’s all about to change. My “ALL” is about to become a whole lot “MORE” and I just want it all to work.
So I guess the point of all this rambling was to, in part, give me a chance to vent, lay it all out in my head and make myself work through it..so thank you for listening.
But I guess the other point is lean on you a little too. I know many of you are parents and you’re awesome at it. So my question is..
How do you do it? What makes it work for you?