I woke up this morning knowing it would be my last day as a mom to one. I woke up feeling a twinge of guilt, a stomach of nervousness and just a feeling of unrest (maybe because every night I wake up for about 2 hours for no apparent reason).
I worked, and tried to just treat this as a normal day. That was until the news out of Boston turned from exciting to tragic. I couldn’t turn away. I’ll never get to run the Boston Marathon (because I’m too slow) but I spent months there for work one year and had the chance to run the course…just because.
I pretended that I was crossing the finish line of the actual race. I tried to picture what it would look like, sound like and feel like but never did I picture it like it was today.
As a runner, I just can’t fathom why anyone would target a race. It doesn’t make sense. I watched for signs from the runners I was watching and thankfully heard from all of them. Then I watched as many of the spectators found themselves in the midst of chaos.
I’m going to bed tonight feeling more emotions and having more questions that I’ll just have to wait to answer but one thing I know for sure…I’m a runner and a mom and when I wake up in the morning, I’ll be thankful that I am both and I’ll embrace both roles with a renewed sense of passion and dedication.
I’ll open my heart to a second little life, and I’ll count the hours till the time I’ll be able to lace up and head out for a run, both babies in tact.
Pray for Boston, hug your family and go for a run!