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Toddler Sleep Training

April 1, 2013 21 Comments

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I have a confession to make: E is a terrible sleeper and it’s probably my fault.  I think I’ve said it before but it’s true.  One night when I was putting him back to bed at 2:00 a.m., I realized just how bad it’s going to be for my sleep (and sanity) when I have two of them demanding my time between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m.  Not to mention the fact that E wasn’t necessarily getting good sleep (see the chart below).

It was right then and there I decided we needed to correct the issues before the new baby came. So we had heard about this sleep specialist here in St. Louis…Nancy Birkenmeir.  She’s a registered nurse who specializing in pediatric sleep.

I called waaay back in January but weren’t able to get in till March.  She asked us to keep a sleep journal for two weeks, where we documented his bedtime, which at the time was about 9:45 (not asleep till almost 10:15), his night wakings, wake up times and nap times.  We learned a lot just by doing this.

Toddler Sleep RequirementsThen when we did get in to talk to her, the learning just kept coming.  Couple things I was doing wrong were contributing to his issues.  Now don’t think we went in there and she just judged us…nope.  She was kind and upbeat and optimistic that he could be relearn to sleep and be back on a schedule that would do him (and us) good.
The plan she gave us was two steps:
Step 1: Bedtime: Get him to bed earlier and get him to fall asleep on his own.  Before, I was laying with him till he fell asleep then leaving the room.  Not necessarily the best thing in our situation because he’d wake up wandering where we were.
Step 2: Nighttime wakings
She warned us these “steps” could take weeks and could be pretty painful.  I wasn’t looking forward to it.
So two weeks ago we finally started it.  I was dreading the first night.  I was prepared for hours of back and fourth with him but when I left his room the first night, he cried for 7 minutes and then…silence.  I wish I had the video monitor on so I could see him but before I knew it, he was asleep.  It was then that I realized, this was doable.

Within a week, E was only whining for about a minute and then sound asleep.  I can’t tell you how good that feels.  We’ve also moved up his bedtime, which has been great.

Last week we started working on the nighttime wakings and now, two nights in a row, he’s slept all the way through and I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  We still need to get his bedtime closer to eight but we are going to have to figure that out with our workouts.

I’m feeling much more ready to welcome Baby Nuunie to the house knowing that hopefully I’ll only be getting up to take care of one kid and hopefully we’ll be better educated to get Baby Nuunie started off on the right sleep track.

If you’re battling sleep issues, I want you to know there is hope.  🙂  St. Luke’s Sleep website has all kinds of useful links.  Check them out.

http://www.stlukes-stl.com/services/sleep-medicine/services-pediatric.html

What challenges have you had to or need to overcome with your tot?  

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Comments

  1. Lisa@RunWiki says

    April 1, 2013 at 3:43 am

    I am so glad you’re seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, good sleep is as important as workouts, don’t you agree? I have to be so strict with myself to get in bed by 9:00pm because if I don’t, I’m not the best version of myself the next day. My kids are the same way, we just need tons of sleep to be happy campers. I’m so excited to see baby Nuunie!!!!

    Reply
    • Katie McFarland says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:32 am

      I’m learning so much through this and can’t tell you how good I feel that E’s getting more quality sleep!

      Reply
  2. Kelly Williams says

    April 1, 2013 at 5:43 am

    It’s a good thing and you should make it a priority especially if your a mom.

    Reply
    • Katie McFarland says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:32 am

      Thanks!

      Reply
  3. Rhoads says

    April 1, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    It’s great that you’re seeing a light at the end of the tunnel! It’s amazing how much better things are (for everyone!) when enough sleep is being had!

    My $0.02….I wouldn’t sacrifice your kiddos sleep for your workouts. Working out is important for your mental & physical health but not at the expense of your kid’s sleep schedule.

    Reply
    • Katie McFarland says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:33 am

      There is definitely a balancing act that we’re going to have to figure out.

      Reply
    • Becky Rhoads says

      April 2, 2013 at 5:26 pm

      It is, for sure. I wake up at 4:20 to get my workout in before work & before C wakes up. I tried to make working out a priority, without missing time with or changing C’s schedule. It took us about 15 months to figure it out, but we did, eventually! Waking up at 4:20 before working full-time is only possible if the kiddo is STTN though!

      Reply
  4. Kristin @ A Mom on the Run says

    April 1, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    One of the best things we did for our family was getting our son (he’s 4.5) into a decent sleep routine before our little one was born. It’s not perfect and we’ve regressed a bit as our baby (she’s 20-months) has gotten older and no longer wakes multiple times a night to nurse, but it helped SO much in those first few months! I wasn’t a sleep-deprived, cranky, mess of a mama 🙂

    I’m so glad that it’s going well for you!!

    Reply
    • Katie McFarland says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:33 am

      I agree! I’m expecting to regress some but I’m hoping we’re in a better spot than we were before these two weeks. 😉

      Reply
  5. Michelle says

    April 1, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    Reply
  6. Michelle says

    April 1, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    So happy to hear you’ve made TONS of progress!!

    We’ve been struggling with L lately. She’s been coming into our room in the middle of the night. If it were up to me, I’d let her sleep with us – but luckily my hubby is a sleep nazi and he always brings her back to her room. We didn’t experience this with my son – he’s actually the opposite in that we cannot wake him up (and he’s such a deep sleeper that he has to wear pull-ups at night).

    I admit I am a stickler for early bedtimes(80% of the time they go to bed at 7:30) and I do think that helps. It also gives ME some down time!

    Keep up the great work 🙂

    Reply
    • Katie McFarland says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:34 am

      I really wish we could get to a 7:30 bedtime but I’m not sure we’re gonna get there. Either way, we’re making progress and E’s getting better quality sleep which makes me feel good! One step at a time! 😉

      Reply
  7. kathy @ vodka and soda says

    April 1, 2013 at 11:54 pm

    i hate that term “sleep training” because it’s really “learning”, not training. anyhow, i’m a huge advocate for proper and healthy sleep habits. i sleep trained my dd and dumped all of her sleep associations that no longer worked for her but were waking her up (pacifier, rocking etc etc). i was so scared but as long as you’re consistent, they will learn.

    an early bedtime is a must!! as they say, sleep begets sleep and my daughter who is four and no longer naps, has never gone to bed past 8pm except during vacations. her regular bedtime is 715pm. it used to be 8pm but then she was waking so early (630am) so i moved her bedtime earlier to 730 and then 715 and she started waking later and later.

    kids need a LOT of sleep! their sleep distribution within a 24hr period will change (as they start to drop naps or stop napping) but overall, their sleep requirements pretty much remain the same give or take an hour.

    remember that their will be some stumbles along the way as new milestones happen (new school, starting school, big event, moving etc) but as long as you stay the course wrt his sleep schedule, he’ll get right back on track!

    Reply
    • Katie McFarland says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:36 am

      AMEN! It is learning. I totally see that now. Wow! That’s great that your little one is sleeping so well. Every night we make strides I feel a little better. Here’s to hoping we can just improve from here!

      Reply
  8. Christine says

    April 2, 2013 at 3:19 am

    Oh, sleep training was not fun at all but so worth it. I’m a big advocate in that I believe that it’s so important to protect the sleep of both the child and the parents!! I’m so glad that it’s going well. Sleep training was much easier with the second child because you’ve been through it before and know that it will be OK and also, frankly, you just don’t have the time to sit with them until they fall asleep so they learn to sleep on their own out of necessity.

    Reply
    • Katie McFarland says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:37 am

      I’m so curious to see how sleep will go with two kiddos. Not just for them but for us too. I’m definitely nervous about it but am willing to do what I need to make sure everyone gets sleep!

      A well rested family is a happy family!

      Reply
  9. Samantha says

    April 2, 2013 at 3:42 am

    Girlfriend I need all of your tips! I mean all! Grace still takes a bottle to sleep, bedtime is usually 830, and wakes up multiple time at night.
    Help 🙂
    I’ll check out the website too’
    Thanks!

    Reply
  10. Josie says

    April 2, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    Kudos for tackling this challenge! My dd is 2.5 as well, but I sleep trained her at 5 months. I do NOT do well sleep deprived and she was a mess as well. If I could do it all again, I would start setting up good sleep habits from day 1 (as much as possible/reasonable). If you don’t have it already, I HIGHLY recommend “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Horribly organized and edited, but the info in it about the science behind baby sleep and the importance is amazing.

    Reply
  11. Josie says

    April 2, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    Oh, and I second (or third) the importance of an earlier bedtime. Sleep begets sleep in these kiddos and a late bedtime is usually against their circadian rhythms, they get overtired and sleep poorly. And the additional benefit of having some time to yourself is pretty sweet!

    Reply
  12. Katie says

    April 27, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    I definitely agree with the earlier bedtime! I have 3 children and have learned that they sleep better (less waking, and fall asleep easier) when they get to bed earlier! A late night “partying” with grandma can spell disaster later! 😉

    I think most of us parents don’t realize how much sleep toddlers need. It’s amazing to think that a child up to 3 yrs old still needs between 12-14 hrs of sleep total! With my daughter who woke at around 5 am every morning, I’d sometimes try putting her to bed later… but she still woke around the same time. So, for her to get enough sleep, she had a very early bedtime!

    Reply
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