I had a soon-to-be mom express to me, at the gym, the other day that she was scared..scared to be a mom…to lose her identity (mentally and physically). First off, I was beyond humbled that she felt comfortable enough with me, not knowing me from Adam, that she could share that. I immediately empathized. I had felt the same way.
Moms are all different and depending on where we are in our lives when we become moms, some are scared, and some are excited. Neither is wrong.
It reminded me of when I found out I was going to be a mom. I will be the first to tell you that I was not in a place where motherhood was “in the plans”. I had a career, a new husband and I just wanted to have fun, selfishly.
When we found out, it took me all 9 months to come to terms with the new title and role. I wish I could sit here and say that I was elated but I wasn’t. I was borderline depressed. I can tell you that I did go to therapy for a while. I needed help trying to figure out how life was going to work as a mother. The planner in me didn’t understand how I was going to be able to do all the things I still wanted to do and be there for this baby. I just didn’t get it. It wasn’t black and white, I couldn’t rationalize it.
Pregnancy was a journey for me in more than just the physical sense. It was the evolution of a mother.
I can honestly say it wasn’t till I held E for the first time that I realized that I was, in fact, a mom. My life had changed forever. I can also honestly say that the second I held E and watched him look at me, I got it. It all made sense.
There is a level of satisfaction that I didn’t even know existed. The words settling and content use to be synonyms but now I realize the difference. I’m extremely content in the best way possible. Every night before going to bed, I give each kid a kiss and just watch them sleep for a minute. Thanking God for them.
Motherhood is a long road full of ups and downs. What I’ve learned, in the short time I’ve been a mom is that you don’t lose your identity, it changes you, but in the end…
Not to mention, when you become a mom, you acquire a skill set that you didn’t know you needed. You learn to “roll with the punches”, you learn patience and you learn what’s important in life.
You get all that when you embrace motherhood, not to mention the snuggles, hugs, and kisses.
Was there a moment when you realized you were a mom?