We all know it’s going to happen…things will change…life will lead us down different paths and depending on how big or how small, we will adjust.
Lately I feel like I’ve been going through a lot of little changes, self induced changes that I THINK are the right choices yet at the moment, I’m pretty unsettled about it.
Take, for example, changing gyms. I know, it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but to someone whose life use to revolve around this facility, I met my husband there, it is a community that I know and appreciate but it’s just not practical anymore. We went to our new gym Monday night for the first time and it’s shiny and new and clean and close and those are all great things but I like my gyms like I like my homes, kind of worn in…homey…like I belong there and right now this new gym just doesn’t have it.
Another change, starting E in preschool early. He has been in a home setting and has been extremely happy and so have I yet I know he needs to get use to structure and needs to socialize and start learning things that we just can’t teach him. He had his first day today and while I know it’s best, again, I’m just a little unsettled. He seems to be adjusting pretty well, it’s mama that’s not.
Finally, I’m learning, as painful as it is to say enough is enough. That while I want to do it all, and I do, it’s just not possible. It’s frustrating but so is feeling like you’re not fully committed to something that you claim to love. I’m being vague on purpose but the gist is that it’s time to take a few things off my plate and I guess I feel like I’m bailing, abandoning and it gives me a sinking feeling in my gut.
I know in the end these are all the right decisions but I just wish they came with the instantaneous feeling that solidified my decisions. It will come, it might be hindsight but maybe that’s enough.
Are you going through any change right now? How do you deal with change?