Last week was a very memorable one for me for many reasons. The first being I was honored at work with an award I had no idea I was getting. One so big it brought tears to my eyes which is unusual for me but it was actually pretty good timing…the other thing that happened last week was the anniversary (4th) of my dad’s passing. (see what happened here)
I was listening to this song on my long run today (The Night by Avicii) and you know how sometimes when you listen to music on a run, you don’t really hear it, you just need it for background noise? That was what it was like today with the exception of this one line they kept repeating…
One day my father—he told me,
“Son, don’t let it slip away.”
He took me in his arms, I heard him say,…
He said, “One day you’ll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember.”
And it got me thinking. When someone you love passes away, some believe that they send signs to the people they left behind. I believe this. I’ve had to many strange experiences (you have to read this one) and I think this run was another sign. A strange thing happens after four years of grief (at least for me). The void that my dad’s passing created is starting to get filled in. I’ve started to fill that void with two traits my dad had in spades…passion and determination.
I’m not going to sit here and sing the “Woe is me” song. I’ve done that before. This year is different.
I’m gonna let you in on a little secret…
This might sound strange but he wasn’t very smart and neither am I. I’ve never really been. I went through my childhood watching kids go off to “gifted” classes, thinking why not me?! I wanted to feel special but I wasn’t… not in the way that teachers saw me or were trained to look at me. In the way of book smarts, I’m mediocre at best and so was my dad. But, as I HOPE you know, raw talent doesn’t equal success…it has to come with this other little thing called passion and the ability to work hard.
I watched my dad work his butt off…to the point of compromising his health. Stress was something he internalized and it ultimately killed him. I learned from my dad, whether he knows he taught me this or not, that there’s a limit. There’s a need to ask yourself
“what’s it worth to you?”
It’s good to have drive. It’s good to want something so much you can taste it but there is a point but there’s also a need for balance (that four letter word). I work HARD…it’s all I know but I also know that my life isn’t meant to live behind a desk. My life’s success isn’t measured in numbers in a bank account. Life is about leaving behind something you can be proud of…Life is about doing what you love. Life is about touching lives. Life is about a visitation that lasted well over the four hours because you touched that many people. That’s inspiring. That reminded me of what I think important so I’ll be working hard to
I love this so much! I feel like I should get up and do something inspiring right this very moment! And I just want to say for someone who doesn’t thinks she’s very smart, you just wrote a brilliant and inspirational post.
Debbie @ Coach Debbie Runs recently posted…Looking for the Best Candidate? It’s Obvious! Captain Obvious for President
Awe Debbie! That means alot.
YES (what debbie said about your smarts).
I have an amazing child who is NOT SMART in the way the schools like to define smart, but she’s smart like you are. She’s kind and motivated and inspiring and generous and loving.
And that’s the smart that really truly has value.
<3
Thanks Carla!
great message 🙂 sending love xo
and you’re way smarter than you give yourself credit for! “book smart” isn’t the only thing!!!!!!! being well rounded, kind, determined, compassionate is what will get you far in life 🙂 and those, my friend, you have!
Linz @ Itz Linz recently posted…learning to close your eyes
Thanks Linz!! You are pretty awesome too
Working hard is only great if you love it. Thank you for the reminder to stay in touch with what really matters.
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I love this post. This October will be five years since my father passed away, and if anything good has come of it, it’s that it taught me to not waste my life doing things I don’t love. I can related to this post so much. Especially this, “A strange thing happens after four years of grief (at least for me). The void that my dad’s passing created is starting to get filled in. I’ve started to fill that void with two traits my dad had in spades…passion and determination.”
I know how hard anniversaries can be so if you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out. My father’s birthday is this Saturday. He would have been 66. I’ll be celebrating it as if he were still here today. Hugs.
Thnaks Rosey! Enjoy celebrating your dad’s birthday!
What a beautiful post. The past two days seem like they’ve been a double whammy and we have so many expenses coming up. We took a long drive to a state park a few counties away and less than 5 minutes from the entrance a state trooper pulled me over for speeding (and I had my cruise on and I wasn’t!) I was hysterical. I’m stressing now about big expenses plus a huge fine for speeding (during a week when we chose gas money over groceries), which I can’t afford. Seeing the words “my life’s success isn’t measured by numbers in a bank account” was a much needed reminder for me this morning that the whole reason we moved here was so I could pursue a dream and I’m living it (frugally, but living it!).
Congratulations for getting some good news on an otherwise tough week for you. It sounds like your dad was a great man who taught you so many important values.
Thanks Jen! Don’t stress. It will all workout!
what a nice post and I like the idea of loved ones sending you messages after they pass. “smarts” can mean many different things. Congrats on the work award it’s nice to be recognized when you least expect it
Deborah @ Confessions of a mother runner recently posted…Veggie Skillet Enchiladas
Thanks Deborah!
Beautiful post Katie. This really touched my heart.
I’ll share (short version) of my story:
On a beautiful day in mid June 2010, my first daughter was born. We already had a three year old little boy and this was the icing on the cake (or not, since we had another baby later!).
Anyway, my husband was so excited to tell his Dad the news. He called and called and couldn’t get through to him. Finally my husband had his uncle go over and check on his Dad. He found him lying on the kitchen floor… gone too soon. Gone on the same day of our daughter’s birth. Why was this happening?
My FIL suffered from heart disease and it finally took his life. Every day I am so grateful for life and my family.
Thank you for such a beautiful post and I know your Dad is always in your heart.
Let us all live a life to remember. xoxox
Natalie recently posted…Boston Marathon Training Recap: 8 Weeks Till Race Day!
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I definitely needed this message in my heart today.
Jess @ run pink recently posted…Marathon Monday: Altra ONE2(squared) Shoe Review aka Heaven in a Shoe
My father’s birthday is tomorrow. I always dedicate March 4th to March Forth in his memory.