Let me make this perfectly clear. Mom Guilt is a thing (at least in my life it is). No matter how much we try to talk ourselves out of it…when you have kids the idea that you’ve chosen yourself over them creates anxiety…no matter how much we deserve it (and we do!).
It’s never been so evident for me than lately. I’m a mom of two (4 and 6). I work a demanding Corporate job that has me traveling about once a month. Oh and then I decided to wade into the Ironman waters with my first 70.3 this month.
All that means that many times (many more than I would like, my kids are not first). As a provider for the family, work trips HAVE to happen. They just do. As an athlete at heart, running, training, pushing myself is all I know and without it, I’m not the same person, not the best mom I can be.
Establishing a training schedule has been challenging and where I can I’ve made compromises and trained in my basement, surrounded by my kids. They see me push, they see me sweat, they see me sticking to a plan. I think that’s all so healthy for them to witness and internalize.
Every time I lace up and leave the house alone, it creeps up. A little sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that serves as a continual reminder that I’ve left them. Many times crying for mom. Talk about gut wrenching. BUT…this is where a choice can be made. This is where we, as mothers who have crossed that threshold can decide between one of two possible outcomes…
1. I will go through the motions (maybe), all the time beating myself up about the fact that I’m doing this for me and not giving everything to them…
2. OR embrace the guilt and use it as fuel to make sure that every time I leave those kids, I’m doing so for a reason I’m committed to and will put my heart and soul into. After all, if I’m leaving them, I better make its worth it.
When my son was born 6 and half years ago, I made a commitment to myself that I wouldn’t give up on my dreams and that it would be hard but if I was going to do it, I needed to “MAKE IT WORTH IT”.
To this day, if I’m gonna leave, I’m gonna MAKE IT WORTH IT!
Let your community of mother runners help you. Talking and finding comfort in others is so therapeutic. I’m here for you too! I’ll keep encouraging you as long as you believe in you! That’s all we can ask!
Believe in yourself and the rest will come.