Unsettled. Lost. Directionless.
All the feelings I’m feeling right now. Between being homeless (read about that here) and being injured, I don’t even know what to do with myself. You’ve been asking what the status is on all this so I’m finally sitting down to fill you in….sadly this won’t take long.
First off, let’s talk about the lesson I’ve learned from all this which is that for all the talk I do about gratitude and being appreciative, there are parts of my world I still took for granted like having a place to call your own. Having a place to clean and to cook in and to watch your kids play in…all of those little moments that all happen in a HOME. A home we don’t have right now. It’s a basic human need that I’m definitely feeling absent of right now.
BUT, on the flipside, we are in the best place we could possibly be given the circumstances. We are with family. Family that loves us and is supporting us and that is DEFINITELY something I’m grateful for. If I think about the alternative, my head spins and the anxiety intensifies 10 fold.
On the discussion of where we are with acquiring the house… it’s complicated and unfortunately out of my control which is the hardest part about all this. It’s a waiting game at this point and I’m running low on patience. So stay tuned and I’ll keep you up to date.
I guess when it rains it pours and right now I’m drowning. The one thing I’ve always had to fall back on…running is NOT an option right now and in fact, as I’ve been realizing, not much can be done without pain. It’s so weird the things that hurt but even sleeping is painful. I’m beyond ready to just get this done and start to mend but right now, I don’t have ANY idea when that surgery will happen either. In fact, I haven’t even gotten to do the MRI yet so I don’t even know what surgery really needs to happen yet.
Seriously, if I could just take a moment and play my teeny tiny little violin and have a teeny tiny pitty party would you fault me?
I think it’s really annoying this time of year because I have zero ability to make goals for the two primary parts of my world. I can’t gauge my knee health to know what I could be capable of and when. I can’t tell you I’ll have the house feeling like a home because I don’t have any idea when I might have a house to work on.
But, everyday is a new day and I’ll keep searching for forward momentum because that’s all I can do.
Because a life on hold is no way to live.